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Tonight --actually last night, I guess-- I went to the Twins' embarassing home opener, in which they lost 2-7 to the Toronto Blue Jays. Yeesh. I'm glad to see baseball again, though, despite the gametime temperature of 22 degrees. Of note: The lady that sang O Canada sucked. It was absolutely pathetic. I'm no [good singer name], but this lady lost the tune somewhere around the first measure and really didn't find it again. She also reversed "we stand" and "on guard." Nothing was lost in the mix-up, and to tell truth, I think I kind of liked it better this way, but I don't think the Canadians in attendance were very pleased. Former Twin Mudcat Grant sang The Star-Spangled Banner. He was pretty fucking rad. He was joined with [Minnesota Governor] Tim Pawlenty to sing God Bless America. Even Grant was thrown off. I think Pawlenty thought it was sung in the tune of Sherry by Frankie Valli or something, because it was absolutely horrific. I heard dogs howl in the distance that agree with me.

After that stinkfest, I joined Ben, David, and a fresh bag of Wendy's for a cruise around the ice-covered streets of Saint Paul (I almost nailed a mail truck on my way to pick up the Twins tickets.). David went home around 11:00 and Ben and I were free to mess with the toys at Snyder's. Whoever can find the teddy bear with my recording of "Pop. Six. Squish. Uh-uh. Cicero. Lipschultz." on it gets a thousand points. Seriously. You press the bear's right hand and you can record a message. Press its left and you can play it back. It's effing rad. We also got interrogated by a grumpy old man and almost broke a lane sign during our seven minutes in there. Ben threw the football. Not me.

Then we went to see Chicago for free. At midnight. It's a great film.

Peace.
-Todd